Carly's Courage
by Pr0udYa0il0s3r
Summary: This is the story of how Carly's desire to be someone she wasn't led her to the most painful realization of how her actions effected everyone around her. Oneshot. Rate T for dealing with Anorexia/Bulimia


Carly's Courage

She knelt before the toilet, & prayed that no one would come into the bathroom. Lunch had just ended, & she needed to do it again. She'd eaten everything on her plate & felt disgusting. So, she pulled her lovely chocolate locks back into a ponytail & puked.

This had been going on for three years. When she entered middle school Carly saw how all the other girls looked. The popular ones at least. She wanted to be that way. She wanted every ounce of their glory for herself. The thoughts of how she'd come so far, flooded back to her as the bile came up.

She finished, stood, flushed, & went to a sink to clean herself up. If she popped a five calorie mint to suck on while she walked to class she wouldn't be able to eat dinner tonight, but she also wouldn't smell like vomit. As she left the bathroom, she pulled the mint from her purse. _It's worth it. The last thing I want is to run into Tasha have her finally accept me, & then go to hug me & I smell like barf._

Classes ended, & she walked to meet up with her friends before they parted ways to go home. Sam smiled, & Freddie stared. This was normal. It was all normal. In the car on the way back to the apartment Sam's mom was complaining about how fat she was, which wasn't incorrect. Carly had to sigh. She felt how Ms. Puckett looked.

Once the girls were to Carly's apartment it didn't take long for Freddie to show up, & drool some more while they rehersed iCarly. Then, they all went to get food. Spencer had made Pasta. Full of calories…Carly wouldn't have eaten that anyway. When Sam & Freddie came back up with their plates Freddie had to ask why she wasn't eating.

"I don't feel too great…" She said softly smiling. This wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole truth.

"Got a tummy-bug?" Sam said after swallowing a huge bite of pasta.

"Maybe." To add effect she flopped against the beanbag chair she'd been sitting in.

Time passed. The three talked, & laughed. Then, Freddie went home around nine thirty much to his dismay. He knew his mother would be worried, but he figured it was worth it to be with them. Then, the girls continued talking about whatever it is semi-preppy girls talk about.

"Mind if I crash here?" Sam asked.

"Not at all. Sometimes I think you spend more time here than your own house though." Carly only said this because it meant she'd have to be extra careful when she tip-toed out of the room to purge in the morning.

More time passed, & the girls fell asleep huddled close together. When the pale morning light was barely cascading through the windows Carly got up silently, & tiptoed out of the room, down the stairs, & into the bathroom.

She knelt there, & looked at the toilet. Her hair already in a ponytail she held the sides of the toilet, & puked again. Though this scarred her throat because it was really nothing but water, & stomach acid. Something in her snapped, & when she would stop vomiting she'd hit her stomach & do it all again.

Then, she fell. She passed out. As she fell her head hit the toilet giving herself a massive head injury. It wasn't for another hour that Spencer walked into the bathroom to get a shower that he found his little sister in a puddle of blood, & barf on the floor.

Like any respectable authority figure, he screamed bloody murder, & ran for the phone to call nine-one-one. He'd woken Sam, & startled the neighbors. Freddie & his mother both rushed over to see what all of the ruckus was about.

They were all standing in Spencer's bedroom looking from there at her, afraid to go in because they didn't want to mess anything up that might be important to the paramedics. About a half hour later when the first response showed up they went in, & found the girl there.

Carly Shay was there too. Watching. She was having what most would call an out of body experience. Looking down at herself as the EMTs were crowded around her she felt more beautiful than she ever had before.

"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing we can do." As these words left the paramedic's mouth Spencer hit his knees.

Tears flowed freely down his face, & he looked to the ceiling cursing the Heavens. The Paramedic told Mrs. Benson that she died of blood loss, & that by the bile on her lip, & in the toilet she wouldn't have made it much longer before the bulimia took over her body completely as well as her mind. It was then that Freddie, & Sam burst into tears as well. Mrs. Benson didn't cry, though she couldn't say anything as the men left. She merely held her son as he weeped.

It was only then that the out of body Carly Shay realized what exactly she'd done. Her eating disorder killed her. She killed herself.


End file.
